And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives

I have a Pixar Firefox theme, drank a Pepsi, and finally stopped feeling like a lap dog/door mat/pathetic loser! I don't care anymore!!

And I'm on episode 19 of season 3 of "Perfect Strangers". Yay for sitcoms of the 1980s... But of course the part I'm watching is taking forever to load while the next two are finished...

I wonder what's for dinner.

Ooh! Also happy cuz I finally cleaned the inside of my car and I got the tub thing of lotion out that was wedged in my back cup holder.

I still gotta wash it and get the oil changed.

Had a few weird dreams last night. And they were all short and I kept waking up so that really bugs me...

1. It was almost like the setting of "FallOut 3" (which I've been playing when Aaron's not on the PS3, so, not much...) except before the ...FallOut. Anyway I was in school, I think, or hanging around it, anyway I was buying somethings and then met up with Troy from "Community" in the store. He took advantage of me and upset me so bad I started to cry. He felt awful but I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him and ran off to find Britta.

2. Charlie (my friend in the ARMY who I've had a crush on for years) was back in town and we were working on a play for my community college (not Greendale). We were chatting and just hanging around not actually working on any play. At some point he was sitting on the floor behind me and I was laying on the floor, but propped on my elbows infront of him. His brother was there and after talking to him a little, he left, and Charlie leaned down and gave me the Spiderman kiss. It lasted a long time. I heard music.

3. On the set of some movie with Alexandra Moen, Camryn Manheim and Christian Slater. It's some Victorian age movie and Alexandra is once again playing a crazy woman. Camryn and I play her BFFs but Alex accuses me of witchcraft or something and at some point Camryn's holding me down and they're about to make me drink tea... to prove I'm not a witch? IDEK. Anyway, so we're just hanging around getting ready for that scene, rehearsing, etc. Some old dude is showing me the different flavors of tea they have so I can pick and then has me read the packets, which have lines from "Sex and the City" that we'll modify for the movie later on. Christian's just sitting there with us while Camryn asks if she's pulling my hair too hard. Eventually we get bored of rehearsing and someone starts playing the soundtrack to the Producers (the movie, not the original cast recording). I think to ask Christian if he'll ever do a musical before remembering he can't sing. After this scene we have to set up for when Alex turns into a deer/kangaroo and I get the blame for it.

IDEK. WTF my brain.

I keep looking at my clock. 1:58... 2:02... 2:07

I'm not feeling well, so I skipped Medieval History. I could have gone.

But I would have to be sitting through two hours of my professor reading exactly what he's written on his Power Point that he's projecting.

Ugh college.

TO DO:
1. Buy psych book.
2. Buy Computer class book.
3. Find two hundred dollars to fix the hole in your saving those books burned.
4. Make prop list.
5. Send cast measurements to Dennis.
6. Get name of person from Dennis who has paperwork so I can get paid for stage managing.
7. Do Medieval History homework.
8. Do Psych homework and quizzes.
9. Do laundry.
10. Wash car.

Ugh. I hate holidays. It brings nagging to an all new level.

So after class Ken and I went back to his house to watch a movie. On the way to the parking lot...

Ken: [checking phone] "I gotta stop flirting with girls I meet..."

Me: "What?"

Ken: "This girl is almost stalking me... But temptation is a bitch. I was resisting when we saw 'Four Christmases'..."

Me: "Oh, really?"

Fuck.

So we go back to his house and search for his DVD remote. Can't find it. Watch Comedy Central stand up instead. He puts his arm around me. We end up full out limbs entangled cuddling.

Then he asked if he could kiss me.

I said, "No. You've got a girlfriend."

"Please? Just one?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No." x twelve and again at the next commercial break. I told him I would go home if he asked again. So we cuddled and watched TV and he kissed my cheek three times and my hand a few times throughout the two hours. He asked once more before I left and then apologized if he was "pushing it too far."

But son of a bitch! I like him. And he likes me, apparently. BUT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

Goddammit!

And to make today suck even more: tonight's OPENING NIGHT was canceled. Someone smelled something "funny". Whatever it was WAS there. It made you cough a little. Fifteen minutes later it was gone. Something in the air vents probably. We got canceled for the night.

And John looked as if someone had just died. I have never seen him sadder.

I never wanna see that look again.

But in other news! I bought a fish a while ago.

He still doesn't have a name. I can't think of one!

So I had classes today, Storytelling and American History. I have (co-assistant stage manager/guy who asked me out) in Storytelling and John from work in that class. Yay!

Then in American History I sat beside this cute guy with cool shoes. They looked like they should be alligator/snake skin, but they weren't, you know the kind. Anyway I said "Nice shoes." He said, "Thanks. Is that Kermit?" referring to my messenger bag. "Yep." "But Animal is the coolest." (As if trying to show off his Muppet knowledge. Lolz.) "But Kermit is the everyman." And then we got to talking about what we were taking (other classes) for what. Then class started. His name is Ken. He kept making a few side comments to me like "This class'll be easy" and "5-7 pages? And here I was worried..." like that.

So then, class ended and I told him I had to go to work after this, when he asked what class I have next. We walked out of the room and out of the building. He asked where I'm parked and I told him.

"Want a ride over there?"

"Sure!" Cuz, damn that's nice of him and we've barely met. We continued walking to the parking lot, closer to where my car was, actually...

"Hey, if my old messenger bag is in my car, I'll give you the buttons off of it," Ken said.

"Wow, that's super nice. Thanks!" I said. Who does that!?

While he's bent over looking for his bag in the backseat, he asked where I work and he told me where he worked (Highland Country Club) but I'm not sure what he actually does. Judging from the white button down hanging up, I'd guess waiter. Then I told him that Iwas actually parked in this same lot. "Oh," He said, "I thought you were one lot over." And still he was going to drive me. How nice is he?!

Well, the bag wasn't there, and we said goodbye.

A few hours later, I'm at rehearsal. Joe was sitting a row and one seat over behind me. About thirty minutes into rehearsal, I heard Joe breathing really strangely behind me. Like he couldn't catch his breath. I knew something was seriously wrong before I even turned around. And when I did, he was shaking and his eyes were open. I called his name, too scared to actually raise my voice and, stupidly, shake his arm like I'm trying to wake him up. FTW, me in a crisis? I yelled for John the director, who was too busy directing the actors at the time and the actors were listening to him, so no one was really paying attention to Joe but me. I got up, moved to stand to get closer to Joe, but stopped when John crouched infront of the first row, getting a good look at Joe dead in the eye. He reached over, touching Joe's arm.

"He's having a seizure?" John sort-of-asked no one in particular. He looked to me before glancing to the others, "Do we know about this?" Apparently no one did. Before I could ask him "What do we do?" Joe came out of it.

"Hey. You alright? You just had a seizure." John said gently.

"Did I?" Joe sounded pretty out of it.

"We think so. How do you feel?"

"Okay... Dizzy."

"You need to take something?"

"No. Only when I go to bed..." Joe continued, "I got up real early this morning... That might have done something."

"You need to go home?"

Joe didn't answer immediately, so I offered, "I can take you home, Joe. No problem, hon."

"No, I don't... I don't want you missing rehearsal."

"It's fine," John interjected before I could, just to tell him the same. "If you need to go home and take something... We'll be fine. I'm just worried about you doing whatever it is you need to do to get better, son. Okay?" Joe nodded and John turned to me, "Can you drive him?"

"Yeah, no problem." I nodded, knowing where he lived. It was a fairly easy drive and about fifteen minutes or so. So after making sure Joe was alright, John went back to directing the scene and Andrea (the stage manager, who actually gets paid to do it) came over to us, helping Joe pack up his things.

Joe seemed nearly back to normal as we walk to the car. Then I discovered I'm missing an earring. I didn't want to make Joe walk around any further, but I didn't want to leave him alone either. And I wanted to find this earring. I told this to Joe and he offered to help me look for it.

"I bet it's in the auditorium. Come with me." I said and we went back inside. I didn't notice at the time, entering that Joe wasn't with me. I glanced back and he's okay, just standing in the hall. I could see the earring right near my seat.

John walked over to me after I explained why I was back and picked up my earring. "I meant to tell you, you don't have to come back to rehearsal. I know it's a long drive, so you can just head home. Call us and let us know you got him home safe, okay?"

I nodded and John thanked me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I drove Joe home and he told me about his first classes, but mostly the one he had just a few hours before with John, Acting 1, which I had and it was basically my same first day, too. Lol. I ended up going back to rehearsal anyway (because it was only about twenty-five minutes) and let them know Joe was alright.

"Maybe he just needs some hot cocoa and his jammies," John reasoned, relieved, before getting out of his chair and picking up the next scene.

And I always thought Mondays were boring...

So I suck at this 8 days of happiness Meme...

Day Five... or something...
- My dragons! They hatched!


- Peanut's sweater is made of FAIL


- I have a date tomorrow night. My co-assistant stage manager for "Wait Until Dark" asked me out this afternoon. Via text, but I was at work, so, you know... I really don't know him that well at all, but he seemed a nice guy and we got on well when I met him. So we'll see how it goes tomorrow...

Well, nothing note worthy really happened yesterday.

So, I have more than just one happy thing.

Day 3/4:

-Went to see "A Christmas Carol" with mom at the Gilbert theater.
-OMG John the Director and his wife Patty are waiting outside! They came to get on the waiting sheet without reservations. Mom got on the waiting sheet the day before. So Patty and John didn't get in. =(
-Richard and James were amazing and the girl that played Belle was a big girl (yay!) and James played young Scrooge and they were o so cute. And she was awesome too. Unfortunately regular old Scrooge looked and SOUNDED like Mark Twain. FAIL.
-Carrie played the Ghost of Christmas Past and she hugged me and really liked my outfit and shoes and purse.
-I saw Richard afterward and got a big hug from him (he was rather happily surprised to see me) and he said he liked my jacket. After getting accosted by two little kids that were in the play. LAWLZ. And unhappy thing, James and Richard didn't get cast for "Waiting After Dark." HOWEVER, Dennis, who is the other theater teacher, got cast as Cardino. But hasn't shown up for the last two (our first) rehearsals and John said his answering service isn't picking up. So, hopefully he hasn't died or anything, but hopefully James will be cast as Cardino instead because he is hot and I'm totally crushing he read really well for it.

I'm tired of being a failure.

I want a do over.

So watching all these videos on the youtube is making me want to make my own silly little film.

But I don't have any ideas.