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Jun. 7th, 2010
(no subject)
Jun. 7th, 2010 04:46 pmPost twins, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
maz_z. ILU and you're always amazing. Stay awesome.
Meanwhile,
I want to cry. Just bawl and cry b/c that's what pathetic people do.
Oh, hai, mom & dad. Yes, come bitch at me about my college not having sent my grades. That will totally help and it totally in my control. What the fucking fuck?
so I just want to cry over some bullshit petty stuff. Well, it *should* be stupid shit, but apparently I've put way too much emotional effort into it. Maybe because other human beings are attached to it and by ignoring it they're really ignoring me? And i feel like if I say anything at all about it (which is why I'm being vague right now) certain people will get mad with me, tell me I'm being selfish/petty/impatient/whatever and not only ignore me more but just stop bothering with me all together.
This totally applies in real life too.
I have such fucking problems. Christ. I hate myself.
Now I just feel like I'm pining for attention, which I probably am, so disabling comments so I can't feed my damn attention-whore-ness.
maz_z. ILU and you're always amazing. Stay awesome.Meanwhile,
I want to cry. Just bawl and cry b/c that's what pathetic people do.
Oh, hai, mom & dad. Yes, come bitch at me about my college not having sent my grades. That will totally help and it totally in my control. What the fucking fuck?
so I just want to cry over some bullshit petty stuff. Well, it *should* be stupid shit, but apparently I've put way too much emotional effort into it. Maybe because other human beings are attached to it and by ignoring it they're really ignoring me? And i feel like if I say anything at all about it (which is why I'm being vague right now) certain people will get mad with me, tell me I'm being selfish/petty/impatient/whatever and not only ignore me more but just stop bothering with me all together.
This totally applies in real life too.
I have such fucking problems. Christ. I hate myself.
Now I just feel like I'm pining for attention, which I probably am, so disabling comments so I can't feed my damn attention-whore-ness.
(no subject)
Jun. 7th, 2010 10:07 pmI wish my dad was dead.
I'm so tired of ... everything.
I know for a fact if he was, everyone else in this house would be 100% happier.
Or, alternatively, I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and prevent my mom from ever meeting him. I don't give a shit if that means me and my brother were erased from existence. I know she would be happier.
I used to worry about my mom all the time when I was a kid. She didn't have any other friends, that I knew of, besides one lady she worked with and our next door neighbor.
I hate that my dad treats her like a child and that he tell his "best friend" (who's a woman, btw) "I love you" whenever he calls her every fucking day and treats my mom like fucking shit.
The only reason my mom could give me when I point blank asked her why she didn't get a divorce was that it wasn't financially sound.
My brother and dad just had a shouting match about my car because my dad starting defending the stupid fuck he gave 700 bucks to that didn't even fix it when I got it back. (That stupid fuck is his best friend's cousin. BTW.)
I want to get out of here or I just want to die.
I am so fucking fucking fucking tired of this bullshit.
I'm so tired of ... everything.
I know for a fact if he was, everyone else in this house would be 100% happier.
Or, alternatively, I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and prevent my mom from ever meeting him. I don't give a shit if that means me and my brother were erased from existence. I know she would be happier.
I used to worry about my mom all the time when I was a kid. She didn't have any other friends, that I knew of, besides one lady she worked with and our next door neighbor.
I hate that my dad treats her like a child and that he tell his "best friend" (who's a woman, btw) "I love you" whenever he calls her every fucking day and treats my mom like fucking shit.
The only reason my mom could give me when I point blank asked her why she didn't get a divorce was that it wasn't financially sound.
My brother and dad just had a shouting match about my car because my dad starting defending the stupid fuck he gave 700 bucks to that didn't even fix it when I got it back. (That stupid fuck is his best friend's cousin. BTW.)
I want to get out of here or I just want to die.
I am so fucking fucking fucking tired of this bullshit.